the pip squeak
EXCERPT from hunger 36 (faik mini issue)
ORIGINAL CONCEPT & SOME PHOTOGRAPHY by Rankin
AI GENERATOR Rankin
WRITTEN BY Rankin
The first chapter chronicling the Outlaws and their adventures in NW3.
MEET THE OUTLAWS
Pip - Grey Curls, Pure Confidence
Young Bedlington Whippet with boundless energy and charm. Butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth, but somehow chaos follows wherever his little paws go. Never met a problem he couldn’t bounce his way out of.
SquidgE - Red Collar, Big Responsibility
Sharp-eyed leader who believes every walk needs a proper plan and every problem needs a sensible solution. Secretly loves climbing trees to chase squirrels - the only time she breaks her own rules.
Beans - Long Legs, Cloud Dreams
Elegant and graceful, she sees the world as if it were painted in watercolours. Can outrun almost anything but prefers to drift along admiring the sky, finding magic everywhere.
HooligaN - Three Legs, Helicopter Tail
Loyal and cuddly with a talent for getting into muddles. Manages perfectly well on three legs, though he wobbles like a pudding when he runs — especially after eating too much, which is often.
Bandit - Marble Eyes, Mischief Mind
Small, wiry, and convinced he’s the cleverest creature in the Vale. Always looking for trouble to prove how smart he is. Usually proves the opposite, but never stops trying.
It was Sunday morning in the Vale of Health, and The Outlaws had been given a very important job. “Just keep an eye on Pip while I’m gone,” Pip’s human had said, clipping a lead onto Frodo, her elegant black lurcher. “I’m taking this one to get his nails clipped”. “Of course,” Squidge had replied, puffing up with responsibility. “We’ll take excellent care of him.” Pip, meanwhile, was bouncing like a furry spring. A young Bedlington Whippet with soft grey curls and the confidence of someone who’d never met a problem he couldn’t charm his way out of. His tail wagged so furiously his entire backend wiggled. “Adventure!” Pip announced in his squeaky puppy voice. “Where are we going? What are we doing? Can we explore the woods? Can we chase squirrels? Can we...” “We,” said Squidge firmly, “are going for a nice, sensible walk around the back common.” Bandit rolled his marble eyes. Pip always got this kind of fuss and attention. It was irritating. As they set off down the alleyways of the Vale, Pip trotted alongside them, asking questions about everything. “What’s that bird? Why is that house crooked? Do you think that puddle’s deep enough to swim in?” When they reached the back common, Pip’s excitement reached fever pitch. The open space seemed to call to every puppy instinct he possessed. “Chase me! Chase me!” he squeaked, bouncing up to Squidge first.
Squidge was busy examining the various paths leading off the common. “Not now, Pip. I’m trying to decide which route would be best for a proper walk.” “Chase me! Chase me!” Pip bounded over to Bandit. Bandit turned away with a sniff — “He gets too much attention, that one” — and picked a fight with Squidge about which direction to walk. Hooligan flopped down, still catching his breath and too tired for games. Beans lay on her back, murmuring about cloud-hares and lost in her own world. Nobody would play. Pip’s ears drooped. Then curiosity took over. If they wouldn’t play with him, he’d find his own adventure. A flash of red caught his eye at the edge of the common. A fox with a flame-bright coat and mischievous amber eyes was beckoning to him. “Psst,” Ragna whispered. “Young one! You look bored. Want to do something exciting?” Without a sound, Pip trotted after her, grey curls bouncing. It was several minutes before Squidge looked around and said, “Right, I think we should...” She stopped mid-sentence. “Where’s Pip?”“Oh no,” Beans whispered. “Oh no, oh no, oh no.” Even Bandit looked stricken. “We’ve lost him. Pip’s human trusted us, and we’ve lost her puppy.” Hooligan’s helicopter tail had stopped spinning entirely. “This is bad. This is very, very bad.” They scattered in all directions, calling Pip’s name frantically. Squidge scrambled up the big oak, convinced she’d spotted Pip in the branches. But it was only an indignant squirrel who chattered angrily at her before bounding away. She slid down, ears flat with disappointment. She’d risked her dignity for a squirrel.
Meanwhile, Hooligan had found what looked like fresh digging near a cluster of brambles. His nose went wild — surely that was Pip’s scent mixed with earth and roots? “He’s gone down a rabbit warren!” Hooligan announced, and immediately began digging furiously, sending dirt flying in all directions. His three legs worked like pistons as he excavated deeper and deeper. “Pip! Pip, I’m coming!” he panted, his helicopter tail spinning with determination. But all he found at the bottom of his hole was an extremely annoyed rabbit, who thumped its back legs and hopped away muttering about “inconsiderate dogs with no respect for proper burrows”. Hooligan emerged covered head to tail in soil, looking like a walking mud pie. Bandit trotted briskly down towards the pond, chest puffed out like a detective on a case. A cluster of ducks eyed him suspiciously as he marched up to the water’s edge. “You there!” Bandit barked, narrowing his marble-bright eyes. “Have you seen a small grey puppy come this way?” The ducks quacked, muttered, and shuffled. One particularly stout drake wagged his tail and said, “Bread?” Bandit groaned.
“This is serious business! No one cares about your diet!” He stalked off, convinced the ducks were hiding valuable evidence. While the others fretted, Beans curled into the soft grass and let her eyes drift shut. She dreamed of Pip dancing with foxes at midnight, their brush tails whirling like flames. Then, out of the dark, a strange striped horse appeared. It bowed low, and Pip clambered onto its back. With gentle steps, the horse carried him safely home. As all the dogs gathered back around Beans, she stirred, blinking sleepily. “Don’t worry,” she murmured. “He’ll be all right. The striped horse will bring him back.” Bandit groaned. “She’s lost her marbles.” From the chimney of a nearby house came a harsh caw. Scrark spread his dark wings, settling on a fence post with his head tilted knowingly. “Beyond the line, the young one strays,” he croaked. “A fox deceives, a road betrays. Call him home with joyful cries, or lose him where the danger lies.” The Outlaws looked at each other in horror. “The Extension,” Squidge whispered.
The Heath Extension, across the busy road where they were never, ever allowed to go without their humans. The place where cars roared past and danger lurked in every shadow. Indeed, Pip was already deep in the Extension, trotting happily after Ragna with no idea of the peril he’d wandered into. “Welcome to fox school!” Ragna announced grandly. “First lesson, the art of the dramatic entrance!” She demonstrated by leaping onto a park bench, striking a theatrical pose, and declaring loudly, “I am the magnificent Ragna!” A jogger nearly tripped over his own feet in surprise. Pip copied her, bouncing onto a nearby bin and squeaking, “I am the magnificent Pip!” A crisp packet blew off in the wind. “Excellent!” Ragna grinned. “Now, lesson two, advanced tail-chasing technique!” She spun in increasingly elaborate spirals, her red brush flying. Pip tried to copy her but his shorter tail made him dizzy, and he tumbled over sideways into a flower bed. “Perfect form!” Ragna declared.
“Lesson three, the Swedish Death Stare!” She fixed a passing pigeon with such an intense glare that the bird actually stopped mid-strut, looked confused, then hurriedly waddled away. Pip tried the same stare on a dandelion. The flower, being a flower, remained entirely unimpressed. “And now,” Ragna’s voice dropped to a theatrical whisper, “lesson four, how to vanish without trace!” She demonstrated by slipping sideways into the thick bracken until only her amber eyes were visible, then disappeared completely. “Your turn!” came her voice from nowhere. Pip wiggled into the brambles after her, his grey curls blending with the shadows. For a terrifying moment, he seemed to melt away entirely into the wild Heath. “Magnificent!” Ragna’s voice echoed from deep in the undergrowth. “You are almost ready to be a proper fox. But first... we practice the most dangerous skill of all!” Her eyes gleamed wickedly as she reappeared, looking toward the busy road.
Pip’s tail wagged furiously. He’d never had such exciting lessons. Back on the Vale side of the road, The Outlaws were frantic. “We can’t cross!” Squidge barked. “It’s too dangerous!” “He’ll get himself killed!” Hooligan moaned. “We need a plan,” Bandit snapped, his detective brain finally kicking in.
Beans blinked and suddenly understood. “He only wanted to play,” she said softly. “If we play ‘chase me’, he won’t be able to resist coming back.” Bandit scoffed. “That’s ridiculous! He’s with Ragna learning fox magic or whatever. He’ll never—” “Actually,” Squidge said slowly, getting a funny family feeling, “that might just work.” “It’s true,” she admitted. “He loves chasing games more than anything.” Plus, she said with a knowing grin, “we have the family whistle!” Bandit darted across the grass on the safe side of the road, shouting, “Chase me! Chase me!” Hooligan bounded after him, barking with genuine glee, his helicopter tail spinning wildly. Even Beans joined in, galloping dreamily with her long legs, laughing like a puppy herself. And Squidge let out a very very sharp and specific whistle. Across the dangerous road, Pip’s ears suddenly pricked up. His head turned toward them, tilting as if he’d caught something on the wind. Their laughter, their barks, their pounding paws filled the air with pure joy. Plus that distinctive safety net, the family whistle. Across the dangerous road, Pip said “They’re playing without me?” The most terrible thing in the world! The Outlaws were yelping and spinning, their 'chase me!' game filling the Vale with joyful noise. His whole body trembled with excitement. He had to join in. Ragna yelped behind him, “Wait! We haven’t finished fox school!” But Pip was already gone, racing back toward his family. He darted toward the kerb, then stopped dead, ears pricking at something else entirely. The black-and-white stripes. His human always paused here, muttering about “waiting for the zebra". Pip’s eyes went wide with wonder.
“I’d love to meet a zebra!” He planted his paws firmly at the crossing, tail wagging like mad, staring hopefully into the traffic as cars whooshed past. One shot by so close its horn blared furiously, the blast of sound making his curls quiver. Pip blinked, but didn’t move. He was certain the zebra would tell him when it was safe. And then, silence. A pause in the roar. The zebra must have said it was safe. With a squeal of delight, Pip bounded across the stripes, convinced he’d done everything properly. On the far side, The Outlaws bowled into him with relief and terror, covering him in licks and desperate hugs. Squidge pressed her nose into his curls, breathing in his familiar puppy smell. Bandit scolded him while secretly relieved. Hooligan licked his ears frantically. And Beans gave the happiest sigh in the world. “You’re safe,” Squidge whispered, though her voice was still trembling. Pip wriggled free and gave himself an enormous shake, sending a shower of mud from Hooligan’s earlier digging expedition flying in all directions. The others were instantly speckled with dirt. "Now let’s play chase!" Pip squeaked, bouncing with delight and completely oblivious to the chaos he’d caused. So they played chase in the back common until finally they were all exhausted and ready for some snackies. “I won!” Pip squeaked, “Best game of chase ever! And I met the zebra!... Now what’s for dinner?” They didn’t argue, partly from relief, partly because they were too busy trying to get soil out of their ears. Shoulder to shoulder, they padded back through the safe, familiar alleyways of the Vale, away from the roar of the dangerous road, towards home. Above them, Scrark wheeled once, his harsh laugh carrying on the wind, a sound that might have been satisfaction, or might have been “I told you so”. And far back in the Extension, Ragna sat at the edge of the bracken, tail curled neatly around her paws, amber eyes glowing in the fading light. “Another time, little fox-heart,” she murmured to herself. “One day, you’ll finish your lessons and then you’ll never come back.” But for now, The Outlaws were safe, and Pip was where he belonged, right in the middle of his family, finally getting all the attention he’d wanted from the start.